I had a massive turning point this weekend, it was a combination of several things but the main one was this following conversation: Son(aged7) whilst touching my tummy: ‘Mummy, is there a baby in there’ Me: ‘No sweet heart’ Son: ‘But it is getting very big, are your sure mummy?’ Me: ‘Yes, I am quite sure’ Son: ‘I do think there is mummy, just look how big it is getting’ I then went on to explain that we have a perfect little family, mummy daddy, him and his little sister which he replied to that he wanted another baby, one that he could help look after. I explained that our two bed house was too small, even with his kind offer to share his bed and to get up in the night. He doubled checked twos days later that my tummy wasn’t getting bigger because of a baby inside, this time I explained that he wasn’t in trouble for saying so but it could make people very sad if he said that to other people, (2 years ago such rumor was floating around the playground about myself, people talked to me as if it was fact, which made it even harder to say no I am not pregnant just fat!) Oh dear, then later on my husband kindly said when I put on an item of clothing that maybe I should choose another item because that one didn’t flatter me too greatly……. I told him none of my clothes flatter me greatly… my tummy looks big because it is and wore it anyway! You may think I would be feeling down about this but I am actually not, don’t get me wrong I was until, I made a mini plan which started with booking a hair appointment to sort my mop out, which I had done yesterday, seriously I looked like the lion in the Wizard of OZ!, plus (now that I have great hair) I did my balance wheel in my head and I realised this was my weakness at the moment, I wasn’t exercising as I had started using the car to do the school runs because I didn’t have the time to cycle up since I had taken on more jobs at the farm. This sorting my life out was never going to be an overnight success and each day brings a new challenge that alters the balance. The key is to regularly asses the situation and tweek! But there is a Big BUT!! (and I don’t mean the new size rear to go with the belly!) I then did my balance wheel for real and after going through the questions I realised I have some how become a headless chicken in the house again, struggling to get things done.. now this gets me down because this affects the atmosphere in the house and my relationship with my children! It was after seeing a post on Facebook by Kelly at Project Me that made me realise my errors, her posts always seem to come at the right time with my troubles! You’re telling yourself a lie when you say ‘I don’t need to write that down – I’ll remember it.’ -Kelly Pietrangeli That’s it! My Notebook/ Diary, I have stopped using it! I have stopped writing down job lists, maybe I have become over confident that my organisation was going so well, maybe the increase in work load needed more support or maybe I am letting things slip! Talking to someone else I would say how important it is to write job lists, no matter how small a job is, into a diary. If you run out of time move it to the next day, if you can see it has been moved for several days it’s importance becomes higher on your list other wise you will end up with those jobs you never get round to doing! Like the renewal of my delivery saver ( I wanted to use my points and they are doubled up.. so £30 worth of points = the £60 for the years delivery), I put it off, it renewed automatically (with a card that had been deactivated that week?!?! I guess my bank has a lapse for online for so many days!) But the very nice chap on the phone at the call centre refunded the money (to my new card) and I used my points… yay! This is actually a massive thing, the old me would have panicked, not rung up because I was so ashamed of my errors and hoped my husband didn’t see my errors on the bank statement, I would have worried myself stupid for the time till it came and when he asked about it I would have said something stupid and made it look worse! A very brief conclusion to today’s thoughts:
- Get the diary back out
- Schedule in some exercise!